What I want for my birthday.

For my birthday I want a vintage record player, however my mother refuses to buy me one even though I want to chip in on it. The reason she refuses to do this is because she thinks its just another one of my "phases" so I just figured I'd request some money so that I can buy my own, that'll show her, and it will probably make me appreciate it even more too so yeah.
I inherited an old clock from my deceased uncle, unfortunately it has stopped working, so for christmas I am going to request my mother has it fixed.
I don't know why, but I just love old things that has a history behind them.

What do you guys want for your birthday/christmas ?

Me, Myself and I.

Why are we humans programmed to care so much about our looks, even though we know we can never be satisfied no matter what we do and how hard we try. The minute I started to somewhat care about my social status I started to care about my looks. Have humans always cared about such things ? Or is it just something that has started to matter in recent years, we see examples of things people like and think are cool change all the time. At a certain time a beard symbolized manhood and wisdom amongst men, today it is looked down on by women because they don't think its "cool" and "stylish" enough. Humans care to much about looks today it makes life so complicated. An example is if you don't have a six pack and are you're not tall girls won't even notice you. Sometimes I wish we would go back to our primitive states as neanderthals or Cro Magnon, life must have been so simple back then. The men were hunters and the women collectors and nobody even cared about looks. But this is just me maybe the reason I just want to go back to that age is because I don't have six pack abs, nor am I 190 cm or sexier than Brad Pitt, life as a person without good looks is hard...

Confidence.

Confidence is one of those things I lack completely, I am a very insecure and shy person.
I don't usually meet new people and get new friends very often just because I'm shy and because I am afraid to embarrasse myself. I think the reason I'm pretty shy and don't talk much around people and especially girls is because I overanalyze everything, I think of their reactions to what I would say, what they would think of me and so on. I'm afraid people is going to think I'm weird and therefore I usually avoid them unless I know them. This lack of confidence and the fact that I am a very insecure person has actually led to me believing I am ugly which I still strongly believe to this day.
One day a long time ago when we were sitting around eating around the dinner table me and my brother got into a bit of a heated argument, which led to him calling me ugly my response was "I know" I don't think he has been able to look at me the same way ever after that.
Due to my insecurities this has led to me taking compliments and insults very literally, when a girl says thats a nice shirt or that my hair looks cool or something like that I can feel like I'm on cloud nine, but when someone insults me although I put a brave front I take it very literally and always look for ways to improve myself. The fact that I am not very slim and rather "chubby" does not help my confidence either, so I have started working out hoping it will improve my confidence, but you have probably gotten sick of reading about how I feel a long time ago. So how is your life ? Have you struggled with these things before ? I could post a pic of myself tomorrow after I get my hair cut if you guys would like me to do that, then you can see and think for yourselves...

My family.

My family is a very "special" family, we are all very very different, but at the same time we are a mix of people that go great together. If you take my brother for example; He is a very handsome man (he's 21 years old) he is also addicted to working out and obsessed with looking good and being in great shape.
He is a very mixed person, he is a jock, but at the same time he is a nerd in a way. He is excellent with computers and electronics and he is an amazing football player, it's just one of those things I guess.
My mother I would say is the closest you can come to the perfect mother, she is strict at times when she needs to be and yet at other times she can be the kindest person ever. There really is nothing much more to say about my mother she is a rather booring person, she enjoys having laughs with her friends and spending time with family. My father I really don't know very well, I see him about five-six times a year and yet I feel I know him as if I saw him everyday. This is probably because I my father is the person I have inherited my interests and things like that from, he is a very interesting person, strange in a way. And then there's me, I really don't know what to say about myself, I enjoy the simple things in life, friends, family, food, relaxing, sleeping and sports. Well this was a VERY short post about my family, they are a strange mix of people and yet I wouldn't consider giving them up for the world.

Feeling good about yourself.

To be able to feel good about yourself is an art, most people are perfectionists when it comes to themselves. The funny thing is that no matter how incomplete and imperfect the people we have around us are, we are able to look past those things because we appreciate the people around us and in our own eyes they are perfect. So how come we aren't able to appreciate ourselves that way ? Well here in Norway we have this thing called "Janteloven" or "The law of Jante" if you will. It states that you are not to think you are better than others, you are not to think you are good at anything and it basically states that you are not supposed to appreciate yourself. And the sad thing is that this "law" is so implemented into our society it has actually become a norm. All human beings look for flaws in themselves instead of actually appreciating the things they are good at or are proud of, when we find these flaws that we have we exaggerate them and make them bigger than they really are.
So how do you actually manage to feel good about yourself, one way ofcourse is by others giving us complements and making us feel good about ourselves, but there are other ways working out is a good way to feel better about yourself, so what am I really saying here ? I guess the message of all this is "Live the life you love, and love the life you live".

October.

Okay, so I have come up with a little concept.
For every month I am going to list a couple of song I personally think are relevant to the way I feel about that month. When I think of October I think of leaves falling from the trees, the days getting darker, and all you really want to do is sit in with a cup of coacoa while you watch the orange leaves fall from the dark blue sky. The selected songs for this month are :

Plain white T's - Hey there Delilah.
Fool's Garden - Lemon tree.
The Doors - Riders on the storm.
Band of Horses - No one's gonna love you.
Band of Horses - The funeral.

Enjoy, and feel free to use the concept or share this with others !

Your inner voice

Everyone has one right ? just a voice, you don't know what it sounds like it's just there.
This voice is not like any other voice, it's the voice of your thoughts and your imagination.
This voice which screams out when you are on your highest high, but also when you're lower than you have ever been before. This voice never stops talking, no matter how much you want it to just shut up and be quiet for a moment so you could have some peace for once.
This voice is a special voice it's an eternal voice, it's a universal voice it's everybodies voice, but at the same time your own personal voice. It's pretty weird when you think about it.